Week 3 – Writers 1 meeting feedback

We had a big 2.5hr writers meeting and to call it productive would be an understatement. We nutted out the characters and episode breakdowns so we, the writers, could get to writing!

Major decisions made:

  • cut it down to 4 episodes instead of 5, so they’ll be approximately 4-6 minutes long each or hopefully more. So I’ll still be writing episode 4.

Episode Break Down

EPISODE ONE

Brother’s Death while filming porno. Dickie Rammer must find replacement. Cut to Arbitration, where Joe is divorcing his wife. He finds out about his twin’s death. Cut to the funeral, where Dickie suggest that he takes his brother’s place. Joe refuses, but is then fired from his regular job. He calls Dickie and takes on the porno role.

EPISODE TWO

He is at his first porno, but prematurely ejaculates. He meets Bunny and falls for her instantly. When he goes back on set, he can’t get hard. Joe gets annoyed and quits. His ex and Frank are there and they talk. Joe gives it one more shot but can’t. He is told about the sex guru.

EPISODE THREE
He goes to the sex guru for help. He has flashbacks during the session of his previous, shitty life with his boring job, awful wife, and generally terrible life. He ends up hard at the end of the session with the guru and can keep going.

EPISODE FOUR

He climaxes on set and they finish the porno. Bunny leaves without him noticing. The crew celebrate. His ex and Frank come over and blackmail him with the sex tape, but he doesn’t care. He tells everyone “fuck you” and dashes to the airport. He meets Bunny and kisses her.

END OF CREDIT SCENE: the movie is a flop and Dickie is having a breakdown over it.


Script Planning

So I’ve decided to open the episode with Bunny and Joe playing out a porn scene. As mentioned earlier, Joe was passive from the start of the story, and then became more assertive, adopted direction into his life and became more confident in himself. So I want to display this in the last episode.

I decided I want Bunny to be an accountant and Joe to be her assistant, I feel that power hierarchy is appropriate and important. She calls him into the office to finish off some paperwork, then they end up having sex. He climaxes in appropriate timing. It’s a huge celebration, he’s done it! His climax also symbolises the apex of his assertiveness (or character growth). Afterwards his ex finds him alone and offers herself to him because he seems to have changed. He refuses and chases Bunny who disappeared during the celebrations. They kiss.

To assist me in the writing of the script, I’ve done some quick research on accounting lingo that most people will be able to understand. Afterall, they’re sophisticated. I want the characters to reference the accounting terms only twice, when Bunny asks Joe to finish work for her and when Joe walks out. So with the help of  this cite I decided Bunny can start with “Joe I need you to finish off the net income of (business)”. Obviously she will over-pronunciate the ‘come’ in ‘income’. This lead me to my next part of research, what business are they helping out? I want to find a infamously dodgy business. This cite was particularly helpful as it offered plenty of information about politics during the 1980s and helped me to find out about the main issues happening during then. Most of which I found to be environmental. So maybe I can name drop Peter Garret if I can’t find a huge corrupt business of the 80s.

The next accounting reference I’ll use is after Joe orgasms and he leaves on a one liner. Preferably “the accounts have been balanced/fixed”. Cheesy, I know. But it’s meant to be.

I couldn’t bring myself to sit down and watch porn from the 80s. I feel like I’m intruding…? Instead I looked at a forum of what people thought were the funniest porn lines of all time. This cite had some doozeys!! But I realised that mostly there’s really bad dialogue, maybe a couple of lines, then the ‘actors’ abruptly have sex. That simple.
This is an example of a post I found:

I dont remember what it was called, some generic thing at a hotel, but it had a line that just stuck with me for WTH OMG LOL sake.

“Can you do me a favor? The smell of frying bacon makes me so incredibly horny! Can we have lesbian sex right now in the middle of the kitchen?”
“SURE!”
(“Great” dialog from porn films”, 2017)

So I’ll add a line where the accountant asks her assistant to ‘stick it in her’. He is confused as to what she means, and I want her to find the weirdest name for a penis. So this cite set me on the right track with terms such as: meat scepter, clam hammer, piggy porker, pig skin bus. But this cite reminded me of some basic Australian slang I could use which I think might be funnier, such as jackaroo and billabong.

porn8

I present draft 1 of Average Joe, Ep 4.

Script Average Joe ep4 (1)

 

 

 

References:

Ruesink, M. (2017). 30 Basic Accounting Terms, Acronyms and Abbreviations Students Should Know. Rasmussen.edu. Retrieved 13 June 2017, from http://www.rasmussen.edu/degrees/business/blog/basic-accounting-terms-acronyms-and-abbreviations-students-should/

1980s – Decade in context, Social and cultural features of the 1980s, Australia’s social and cultural history in the post-war period, History Year 9, NSW | Online Education Home Schooling Skwirk Australia. (2017). Skwirk.com. Sydney Australia. Retrieved 13 June 2017, from http://www.skwirk.com/p-c_s-14_u-189_t-509_c-1886/1980s-decade-in-context/nsw/history/australia-s-social-and-cultural-history-in-the-post-war-period/social-and-cultural-features-of-the-1980s

“Great” dialog from porn films. (2017). RPGnet Forums. Retrieved 13 June 2017, from https://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?491370-quot-Great-quot-dialog-from-porn-films

50 Great Names for Penis. (2017). Ed Uncovered, The Naked Truth. Retrieved 13 June 2017, from http://eduncovered.com/50-great-names-for-penis-2013-05-20

The Great Aussie Slang Dictionary. (2017). Bartrade.biz. Retrieved 13 June 2017, from http://bartrade.biz/ozslang.htm

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